Trick or Threat Read online

  ‘Get me out of here,’ pleaded Hugo’s voice. ‘I’m suffocating in adolescent aftershave.’

  VII

  The policemen managed to summon up sufficient handcuffs to secure their little band of would-be criminals, and DI Moody radioed for a police van to transport his catches to the station for formal charging. Hugo was rescued from his fishing-net prison and ushered inside along with DC Glenister. How lucky for them – if not for Hugo – that Lady Amanda’s father had been rather keen on sea-fishing.

  Sitting in front of a blazing log fire, Hugo began to recover from his ordeal and overdose of testosterone, with which he was not very familiar, and Beauchamp entered the drawing room carrying a welcome tray of cocktails. ‘I’ve mixed the ones you mentioned, m’lady, and I hope you find them to your satisfaction,’ he intoned.

  ‘I’ve ordered us all a Zombie,’ announced Lady A, taking a glass eagerly. ‘Well, young man,’ she addressed Glenister, ‘what do you think will happen to those miscreants? I hope they lock them up for a long time so that they truly learn their lesson that crime doesn’t pay.’

  ‘The one that was related to the chief constable said they’d already netted two hundred quid, and that it had been a good wheeze,’ he replied dispiritedly.

  ‘But they will go to prison, won’t they?’ Lady Amanda stressed.

  ‘Knowing today’s justice system, they’ll probably get a rap over the knuckles and a skiing holiday to soothe their frayed nerves after having to go through the ordeal of being arrested.’

  ‘That won’t do at all.’ Lady A was at her most militant. ‘I’ll have a word with old Batty Bannister the magistrate; put him right on a few things. Then, I think we can rest in the knowledge that they won’t get off so lightly after all. Justice will be done, and I have an acquaintance on the local paper who can guarantee that it will also be seen to be done. Cheers, everybody!’ They raised their glasses in salute to this more than satisfactory outcome, and Lady A smiled a shark-like smile at what was sure to come.

  The doorbell rang, momentarily breaking this self-congratulatory mood, shortly followed by Beauchamp ushering in the Rev. Goodfellow.

  ‘Vicar!’ trilled his hostess, ‘how timely that you should call by. I have some good news to impart. Get the vicar a cocktail, there’s a good man, Beauchamp.’

  Leaving the vicar looking bewildered as he took his glass she raised hers again and repeated ‘Cheers, everybody!’

  ‘Good Grief!’ exclaimed Glenister, staring out of the glass from which he had just taken a mighty swallow.

  ‘Lord above!’ said Hugo in astonishment.

  ‘May He be praised!’ grinned Rev. Goodfellow in appreciation.

  ‘And you wait till you try walking after one of these,’ said Lady Amanda, applying herself to her stunning, literally, cocktail, and she knew – she’d ridden her tricycle after consuming one.

  THE END … except for …

  THE COCKTAIL RECIPES

  ZOMBIE

  ½ a measure of white rum

  1 measure of golden rum

  ½ a measure of dark rum

  ½ a measure of apricot brandy

  ½ a measure of cherry brandy

  2 measures of pineapple juice

  1 measure of orange juice

  ¾ of a measure of lime juice

  ½ a measure of papaya juice

  ¼ of a measure of almond syrup

  ½ a measure of over-proof dark rum

  Good luck!

  HAIRY NAVEL

  2 measures of peach schnapps

  1 measure of vodka

  4 measures of orange juice

  Serve over ice

  CUTE FAT BASTARD IN THE SACK

  2 measures of full-bodied red wine

  1 measure of dry sherry

  2 measures of white grape juice

  ½ measure of sugar syrup

  2 measures of lemonade

  Serve over ice

  The Belchester Chronicles

  by

  Andrea Frazer

  For more information about Andrea Frazer

  and other Accent Press titles

  please visit

  www.accentpress.co.uk

  Trick or Threat

  ISBN: 9781783752201

  Copyright © 2014 by Andrea Frazer

  This edition published by Accent Press 2014

  The right of Andrea Frazer to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988

  All rights reserved.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, electrostatic, magnetic tape, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the publishers: Accent Press Ltd, Ty Cynon House, Navigation Park, Abercynon, CF45 4SN

  These stories are works of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.